Lay down with me
by amoureuse87
Summary: An oneshot with Blaine and his thoughts about Kurt. Oh well, it was supposed to be an oneshot, but it got longer!
1. Chapter 1

Author: amoureuse87

Title: Lay down with me

Rating: T, but it's quite much

Warnings: Well, slight slash, obviously

Word count: 1410

Genre: Slash, a bit of romance, oneshot

Summary: Kurt has already told about his feelings but what's going on with Blaine?

Disclaimer: I don't own the characters nor the actors. Don't gain money with this, just a bit of happiness.

A/N: Well, I like to write oneshots. Another small one it is then!

I had invited Kurt to my place for tonight, I had noticed that I really didn't want to sleep alone. And besides, I enjoyed spending time with Kurt. Oh well, that was a lie, I loved spending time with him. Even more than I used to love, I had to admit. Our relationship had changed quite a bit, at least from my part. I remembered how I had told I wanted just to be friends with him, I didn't want to screw our friendship.

I had to admit that I loved Kurt. Every single side of him. The way he laughed, the way he smiled, the way he cooked, everything. I painted his picture in my mind, it took me less than two seconds and it was as accurate as it could ever be. I smiled, Kurt was just perfect. It had just taken me some time to realize it.

I hugged my pillow, I wanted someone to be close to me, now. I felt nervous and tense. Kurt had been here just last night but even trying to sleep alone made me too afraid of the shadows. The walls were dancing and falling on me, every single sound was a murderer after my head. In a way it was a bit embarrassing, being forced to admit I couldn't survive by myself. I wasn't afraid to admit that I needed Kurt by my side, though. Or actually I was, I could never tell it to Kurt.

I sighed, I needed some advice. I wanted to talk to Kurt about everything, about how I worshipped the ground under his feet and the air he breathed. I just had no words for it. Nothing was special enough, not for him. I had no idea to whom I should talk to, Kurt had always been the one I talked about everything. It was obvious that I couldn't use his help this time.

I tapped my finger on the bed, waiting was as horrible as always. I tried to stay calm but I was nervous and I was looking forward in seeing Kurt again. He had left my place just five and a half hours ago, that was at least five hours and fifteen minutes too much. I might survive a quarter well by myself, not very much more. I got up and walked a bit around. This was untolerable.

When had I actually found out I had such strong feelings towards Kurt? It was approximately three months ago, developing slowly. I remembered having a huge crush on this guy at school, how I enjoyed seeing him and wanted to spend more time with him. It had been the same with Kurt but stronger. I adored him, more than anything. It was so simple and yet so complicated. Or maybe I was the only one thinking it was complicated, maybe I was the only one with problems.

I actually even knew that Kurt had some kinds of feelings towards me, at least he used to have. Last Valentine's Day he had thought I had wanted to ask him out but I had denied it all. Told him that I didn't want to screw our relationship, I wanted him never to leave me. If we started dating and then broke up, I'd lose him for all eternity. I had never guessed that I might some day love him that way.

I heard the doorbell and ran to the door, I opened the door and hugged Kurt as hard as I could.

"I'm so sorry to ask you to come but I think my imagination just ran a few laps too many," I stated.

"It's cool my dear, just think of all the times I've asked you to come," Kurt said. I looked at him under my eyebrows, there was no need to lie to me. "OK, so I've never called. But it could happen every day!"

I laughed at him, it was already like a thousand kilos were lifted from my shoulders.

"Well, maybe. But I just can't say how much I really appreciate this," I said.

"Oh I do know how you adore me, so I think I quite know," Kurt pointed. I nodded and uttered a laughter, if he just knew how right he was. Maybe I should tell him tonight?

"Should I have taken something else than pajamas and clothes for tomorrow? All good?" Kurt asked. I couldn't help a wide smile, he was always looking after me.

"All is good. I just felt so... so... Well, you know what I mean," I answered.

"I do. Should we just get to bed then, it's quite late and we have an early morning tomorrow, it was English at eight, right? To be honest, I was just about to go to bed when you called, I'm tired," Kurt asked. I nodded again, he was right. I already was in my pajamas but he needed to get changed.

I sat on the bed and looked how Kurt took his clothes off. I maybe looked a bit too closely, but he didn't seem to notice. He slipped under the blanket, I smiled warmly to him and made myself comfortable. Probably I wouldn't even be able to sleep for the most of the night, I'd probably be listening to Kurt's sweet breath.

"Have I ever mentioned how I love your bed?" Kurt asked.

"I think I've heard it a couple of times," I answered.

"Good. That really needs to be said and understood," he laughed. I stroke his cheek, I enjoyed listening to his sweet voice.

"Heard and understood. Now, maybe we should sleep. As you already mentioned, it's late," I reminded him.

Kurt turned his back on me, I looked at his shoulders and tried to relax. I kind of wanted to keep on talking, but I knew I should start sleeping. I was all sparkly and cheery, I could've danced all night now that Kurt was here. I felt so much better now that he was here, it was easier to breathe, my heart was free to pump blood, free of worries. I couldn't help but smile really wide, this was pretty close to perfect.

I turned my back to Kurt, I was quite sure that he was asleep but I didn't want him to see this look on my face. It was a bit silly, it would also have revealed my still so secret feelings towards him. I kind of wanted to tell, kind of didn't. I shook my head carefully, my thoughts were again trying to return to the same circle they ran every day. Kurt was able to lift my spirit up, I wanted him to be able to feel the same.

Kurt started mumbling, I would've wanted to kiss his forehead, it was so sweet. I didn't understand a word but I tried to answer him, maybe he heard me.

"Kurt, what on Earth are you trying to say?" I asked. He didn't answer, not in a language I could understand. My cheeks started hurting, I tried to calm my face a bit. A facial stroke or something even close to it wasn't anything I wanted.

Suddenly I felt Kurt's leg close to me, it brought the stupid smile back to my face. I loved it when he got close to me, even this was so incredibly awesome. Then my body froze, completely. He had lifted his arm on me, was pulling me closer to him. I crawled my way closer to him, I could feel his stomach touching my back. I was all tense, even though I scared a bit as Kurt started to mumble again and called my name.

I thought it was again something I could never understand but Kurt kept calling my name.

"What is it Kurt?" I finally asked and tried to turn my head a bit. It probably was too much, he almost literally jumped away from me.

"Sorry, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to come that close," he said with a small laughter. I turned to him, I thought he had awakened but he was still in deep sleep. I couldn't help but wish he'd come back close to me. I wanted to kiss him, my lips wanted to taste him.

Tomorrow should definitely be the day for me to open my mouth and talk to Kurt. It was all about finding a way. And that way I wanted to find, more than anything.


	2. Chapter 2

A/N: Thanks for all the nice reviews! ^^ Looks like you're, after all, going to get some more of it, whether you want it or not. No idea how much, but at least two chapters! Feel free to send your ideas or wishes if you have some! ^^ Thanks a lot, you made my day ^^ I tried to read it carefully through, hope there's not too many mistakes ^^

I woke up with Kurt's right arm tightly around me. I breathed in slowly and tried to remain really silent. I didn't want to wake up Kurt yet, I had no idea of the time but I didn't think it was late enough to get up on a Saturday-morning. Also, I had the whole house to myself, so no one else was going to wake us up; we could sleep as long as we wanted. I could've laid all day in this bed, just being close with Kurt.

I could feel Kurt's stomach against my back, I couldn't help but smile. Just knowing how awesome he looked there, laying right behind me. I knew how his face looked at this very moment, Kurt for one looked extremely cute while sleeping. I usually ended up snoring or drooling, but he managed to do it the pretty way. Never to mention how awesome he looked otherwise.

I closed my eyes again and let the sweet feeling of safety take over my body. I had slept well, for once, really well. Kurt had the power to make the ghosts of the past disappear. The terrible nightmares had been away for some years, but for some reason they had returned, now stronger than ever. I got beaten up, tortured, burned or killed every single night. Kurt was the only one that was able to make the shadows dance in someone else's corners.

And besides, all of Kurt's awesomeness could not be seen by eyes. He was the nicest guy I had ever known, always kind to everyone. I was able to tell everything to him, because I knew he always had the time to listen. And he cared. It was nice to feel loved. Having such a deep connection with someone blew my mind every day. The only thing that was missing was a little bit of romance.

It was easy to tell the exact moment when Kurt woke up, interrupting my daydreaming. When he woke up, he jumped away from me, almost fell from the bed. This wasn't the first time we woke up like this, Kurt had been shocked every single time. Or maybe shocked wasn't the best word, maybe he was surprised about how we had moved during the night.

I decided to play a little game this time; I pretended I was still asleep and had no idea in what kind of a position we had slept in. Kurt was always so nice, trying to apologize his behavior time and time again, even though I had said numerous times that it was OK. I hadn't exactly told how much I liked it, but I had mentioned that it made me feel safe. Pretending that I was still asleep was anyway so much easier. And it prevented Kurt from seeing anything too revealing from my eyes.

Kurt got up and out of my room, I presumed he went to the toilet. I decided to magically 'wake up' while he was away, got up from the bed as well and went to my closet to get some clothes. There were quite some butterflies in my stomach, I suddenly remembered what I had decided last night. At bright daylight I didn't feel too good about the whole idea of telling to Kurt about my feelings; I was sure it was going to fail. Kurt would deny me for sure. In the kindest way ever imaginable, of course, he still was my sweet Kurt, but I knew he was going to turn me down.

If I were to tell to Kurt, I should form it carefully. Not just say it out loud. It needed beautiful frames and some quality painting, the AIHE itself was already pretty. Or maybe it would be good just to say it straight, I had always been bad in trying to go around things. Right now I could've used another close friend, just to have another brain to share my concern. Someone to help a bit with thinking about what I should say. I had the world's most perfect boy next to me and I wanted him to know that I saw him that way.

I was still standing topless when Kurt returned to my room. I tried to decide fast which shirt to wear, but it wasn't too easy. I had too many shirts in the closet and thoughts in my mind, plus I knew that Kurt was now staring at me, me and my imperfect body.

"Good morning, I hope I didn't wake you up but I really needed to use the toilet," Kurt smiled at me.

"Morning! No, I suppose you didn't, I think I woke up by myself. I just noticed that you weren't there by my side when I woke up," I complained.

"Well, one has the need to use the toilet every once in a while," Kurt said and sat on the bed. I finally managed to decide a shirt for today, pulled it over my head and sat next to Kurt. I couldn't really tell him not to fulfill his human needs and had nothing more to say.

I leaned to Kurt, he lifted his arm on me, leaned his head gently to mine.

"Thanks. Once again I wish I knew why only you are able to help me sleep well. Slept like a baby last night," I said.

"Well, probably it's then just my magic then. I slept well too," Kurt responded.

"To be honest, in a way I wish that you'll never find a boyfriend," other than me. "You wouldn't be able to save me every once in a while."

"Depends on if he has a fetish of watching me sleep with other guys," Kurt stated. I laughed whole-heartedly, I loved Kurt's sense of humor.

For a while it felt like I had something extra in my throat, I had remembered my decision again. I still had no idea about how to actually tell it to Kurt. I had never said to anyone that I loved them, neither had anyone ever said that they loved me. Oh well, mum and dad had said it, but it was a totally different thing, it didn't count. I looked at Kurt, he was explaining something while changing his clothes, I hoped it was nothing too important; I had forgotten to listen to him. Staring at him was more than enough to make me absent-minded.

After having some breakfast we decided to go for a walk. I was almost about to suggest a movie when Kurt reminded me that he had to leave in about two hours.

"In a way it's nice to have family-evenings every once in a while. Besides, dad was talking about him paying for everything tonight," Kurt smiled wide and winked his eye at me.

I had forgotten all about Kurt's plans, remembered only after Kurt mentioned it that they were going out to have dinner and then see a movie together.

"I kind of wish that we'd have that kind of evenings too, even like once in two months or so," I sighed.

"Oh, feel free to join! I'm sure that dad and Carole wouldn't mind, Finn would be nothing but delighted to see you again, it has been a while. You haven't seen him at all after he returned from the trip with Rachel, have you? They sure had some extra-ordinary moments," Kurt got excited.

I turned my head slowly from side to side; even though it sounded nice, I didn't want to be the fifth wheel of the vehicle.

"Thanks for the invite, but I think it's better to let you guys have the family-evening by yourselves. It's better that way," I added when I saw the look on Kurt's face.

"But you're all alone here," Kurt claimed.

I nodded and shrugged my shoulders. Mum and dad were on a work-trip, Everett was at a football-camp.

"I'll survive. You just go and have fun with your family. Want to come over afterwards?" I asked.

"Sure. To be honest, we should probably move in together," Kurt said.

I tripped and almost fell on my face, but luckily Kurt managed to grab my arm and help me to regain balance.

"Excuse me?" I asked, stopped walking and looked at Kurt.

"I just said that we should probably move in together," he repeated. Was this one of his personal ways of saying something special?

"Why?" I asked, couldn't form a better question at the time.

"We sleep together almost every night, which is nice, by the way. Wouldn't it be easier to stay at one place and assume that we'd anyway sleep in the same bed?" Kurt laughed. I tried to relax and laugh with him, but the shock had been quite big.

"Well, that's true," I said and gulped. It was about time.

We continued walking slowly, I kept staring at the ground, tried to collect my thoughts. Now, now it was about time to open my mouth.

"Kurt, do you know... do you know..." that I happen to love you? "Do you know what we got for homework from biology?"

Kurt looked at me like I was a lunatic, he even touched my forehead with his back of the hand.

"Blaine, dear, do you have fever? How should I know what you got for homework, have you forgot that I transferred back to McKinley three weeks ago?" Kurt asked, looking concerned.

"Oh, that's true," I admitted and tried to come up with something clever to save the situation. "I do feel a bit strange, to be honest. I don't think it's fever, though."

Kurt stopped at once and held my arm.

"Mister Anderson, why haven't you told me that? I've been so blind, that's why you've been acting so weird all day. How does it feel strange?" he asked, almost fiercely.

"My stomach feels a bit weird, but I don't think it's anything," I tried to cool him down. It was actually the sole truth, I just happened to know why I felt this way.

"OK, that's it, we're going to your home and you're going back to bed. I'll just call dad and tell that you're sick, they can go without me," Kurt said and started searching for his mobile.

"No, no! I'll go to rest and sleep, you go. There's nothing you can do while I rest, right? I'll survive," I said hastily.

Kurt looked at me, evaluated my physical being and changed his weight from one feet to another.

"If you promise to stay in bed all the time I'm away. Or you are probably allowed to use the toilet, if you really must," he added.

"I promise," I said and allowed him to lead me back home.

Kurt still called Burt and asked them to wait a bit more, he wanted to make some food for me. I tried to mutter that he didn't need to cook for me but he didn't listen. I thought that it was easier to just do as he told me to, I went to my room, changed my pyjamas back on and laid on bed.

"Now you're just going to take it easy, I'll make some soup for you, bring some here and then leave," Kurt said and looked like he was thinking about something. "I should probably allow you to go to the kitchen as well, no use of making food to you if you're not allowed to go get more of it."

I nodded at him and lifted the blanket on me. I kicked it off at the very moment Kurt left the room, it was pretty hot inside. I rose to sit on my bed, this wasn't quite what I had thought of. Plus why on Earth had I chickened out and talked about homework instead of love? Out of all things, homework?

At the same time I was also happier than I probably should've been, I knew that Kurt was going to return to me. He did think that I was ill, but maybe later I could tell him more about the disease. At least I had now more time to think. It wasn't easy, trying to concentrate; Kurt got me distracted just with being alive.

As I heard Kurt getting closer to my room, I quickly went under the blanket again. I didn't know whether I should've looked sick or healthy, so I just laid there and looked sheepishly at him.

"The soup is ready. I hope it was OK to use the chicken that was in the fridge, I wanted to make you some chicken soup," Kurt apologized.

"I would've said if it wasn't OK. Thank you, you're a sweetheart," I said and lifted myself, maybe I was allowed to sit while eating. At least Kurt said nothing but gave me the plate with soup in it.

For a while he was just staring at me, I tried to figure out what was in his mind. Soon I realized that he wanted me to eat, I quickly took the spoon to my hand and started eating.

Kurt looked satisfied, he sat next to me and stroke my hair.

"Are you sure you feel good enough? I can still call and ask us to go on a different day, I can stay with you," Kurt offered with a quiet voice.

"I'm sure about it! You just go and send my greetings to all of them," I smiled.

"OK, if you really say so. I'll come over as soon as I can," Kurt promised, hugged my and kissed my forehead.

I watched him leave, got up and walked to the window. I hoped he didn't look up and see me at the window, I didn't want to get reprimands. I followed how he sat to his car, started the engine and left. I sighed and walked around the room. Now I had some more time to figure out what to say. Too bad I still had no idea how I should form the thing.


	3. Chapter 3

**ljohns: **Aww, thanks :D well, this is maybe a bit longer XD thank you! ^^

**starstrukxxx:** Sure, another chapter comes here! XD I don't know how long this story is going to be, but it seems like we need at least one or two chapters more! Thankkkks ^^

A/N: OK, third chapter it is! We shall see how long this story gets xD

I kept walking around my room, stopped every once in a while to have some soup; it was actually really good. I'd never had doubts about Kurt's cooking skills, but he managed to surprise me every once in a while. In a way I could've eaten it all, but I had to think about my lines. And I knew that Kurt was going to return right after the movie so he'd probably be hungry. Of course, he was having dinner before the movie, but at some point he'd still want to eat.

I jogged around the room, slowly extended my area to the whole house. Two floors weren't really enough for me, but I didn't dare to go out. With my luck, I would've bumped into Kurt and the rest of the family. I didn't want to explain to all of them why I was out, when Kurt had already told that I was sick. It would be hard enough to try to tell Kurt, it would be a disaster to have all of them at once.

I tried to sit down but it wasn't easy. I noticed that I was breathing really fast, I tried to cool myself down. I didn't want to die of a heart-attack before having told to Kurt. I almost hated myself, I knew I had to tell him but had zero ideas how. I had only been able to concentrate on the part that I had to tell him, not in how to tell. Probably I should just go with the moment, I wasn't good with romance or speaking about feelings but maybe I'd survive.

I sighed deep, I wanted everything to be perfect for Kurt. Could he even be happy with me? I knew really well who I was, with all my little mistakes and flaws. He had once hinted that he possibly wanted more than friendship with me but did he still feel the same? I could give him everything I had and hope that it'd be enough. Kurt would never admit if he wanted more, he was way too sweet for that. And I wasn't brave enough to ask.

I really wasn't brave at all. Had never been. I'd ran from my bullies pretty much every time, with a little help from mum and dad. Well, in a way it didn't matter that much where we lived, they travelled a lot, Everett had a lot of those camps and football-things. Speaking had never been too easy for me, nevertheless speaking about my deepest feelings. No matter if it was grief, love or pain. Only once had I been courageous and told to my crush how I had felt, just to be rejected. I was good in helping others, telling them to be courageous.

I was lacking some parts, I was sure of it. It was crazy to even assume that Kurt'd want anything special from me anymore. But deep inside there was this little voice saying that I might have some chances with him, no matter how small. I wanted to give it a try, maybe Kurt would have some kind words for me, once again. He might be able to ease my mind.

I got up as if lightning had struck me, an idea had just jumped into my head! I could ask Kurt to help me with some random guy! I just wouldn't mention that it was him that I needed help with. Besides, I would see his reaction, I could try to interpret if he still wanted me. Or he might even be clever, as usual, and understand that I was talking about him. That would probably be the best way for me, I might even survive with it.

I glanced at the watch, it sure was going around fast. And yet it wasn't fast enough. Having no idea about what to say was frustrating, but I kind of wanted to try if I could get through it with intuition. I knew it was going to be terrible, I'd sure be shaky and stressed and all. I didn't know what was going to come out of it but I wished for something really special. It would really make my day, my week, my month, my life!

I decided to take a shower, maybe it would cool down me a bit. I was bubbling under my skin, all boiling. I turned the water on, I wanted cold water. It almost froze me, but it was good. Refreshing my mind, and it helped me to concentrate in how cold I felt. Too bad that I wanted to wash my hair, I knew I had to use warmer water to wash the shampoo off but this was good for now.

I thought I heard the doorbell ring, after a while I heard my phone ring. I washed the last bits of me and rushed to my phone. It actually was Kurt, was he already here? Had I really been in the shower that long? I ran to the door and opened it. Kurt was smiling at me, I gulped and tried to find some words quickly.

"Hey dear, I'm sorry, I was taking a shower," I said.

"I can see that. Why?" Kurt asked, tried to look serious.

"I just wanted to. I feel all better now. And thanks for the soup, it was just awesome," I stated and hugged him. I only then remember that I was all wet and had nothing but a towel around me, I let go of him fast.

"I'm sorry, I forgot I'm wet!" I apologized, trying to dry his clothes.

"It's OK, it's OK," he laughed. I smiled and asked him to come to my room so I could get dressed.

I got some clothes on as quick as I could and sat on my bed, Kurt followed me.

"Are you sure you feel good?" he asked, looked almost like he was about to throw me on my back. Just to rest, most probably. Otherwise I'd be really surprised.

"I'm sure, a bit of resting was all I needed. Along with the chicken-soup, it was superb," I stated with a smile.

"That's good to hear," he answered.

"There's still some left, would you want some? Or some diet Coke? I believe we have some," I offered but Kurt shook his head.

"I'm fine, remember, we just had dinner before the movie, it was one huge dinner. Carole had gotten a bit excited about cooking," Kurt laughed.

I smiled sheepishly and turned my eyes from Kurt. I stared at the wall for a while, it was time. From all of the sudden, words had escaped me once again. I looked at Kurt, he was staring at me.

"What?" Kurt asked.

I took a deep breath of air and tried not to feel like I was fainting. It was so hard to open my mouth.

"I was just thinking. How was your evening?" I used the last trick I knew, to gain more time.

"It was great. Went the way that it was supposed to. Not that I wouldn't have loved to spend the evening with you, but it was such a nice evening," Kurt smiled. I wanted to ask more, but couldn't do it.

"Can we talk?" I asked, knowing it was a bit of a sudden change.

"Aren't we now? Nah, just kidding, of course we can. What's on your mind?" Kurt asked and changed his position a bit.

I looked at his gorgeous blue eyes, this was even harder than I had thought.

"I've been thinking a lot of this lately, trying to find the right words. But it has been in vain, I only get stressed and restless and everything. I have absolutely no idea about how I should say this so please don't judge me," I almost begged.

"Didn't I use those words once? You were nothing but supportive and that's what I'll try to be now. What is it?" the kindest boy of all asked.

Silence took over both of us for a while, Kurt was giving me time and I was trying to find my tongue. I bit my lip and decided to go for it. I might run at the wall but well, at least I could say I tried.

"Well, there's this guy that I kind of have a thing for," I started. I really didn't dare to look at Kurt, he'd see everything from my eyes.

"Is there? That's nice, I guess," he answered. I tried to listen carefully to his tone, trying to find out the meaning behind the words.

"I'd want to tell him that I care for him but I don't know how to say it," I explained.

"You could just say it like that, you know? It's a good way if you ask me," he proposed.

"But I don't want him to get it the wrong way. And what if he doesn't think that way about me anymore?" I asked.

"Is there a wrong way? Wait a second, I want to get this straight. So this guy has already told you that he has feelings for you?" Kurt asked. I nodded, looked at him quickly, he was staring at me.

"So what's the problem here? Can't you just say that you have feelings for him? No matter how I'd love to help, I don't really think I could do it for you, it would be kind of creepy," Kurt stated and stroke my hair.

"You don't even know how creepy it'd be! I'm just afraid of saying it out loud, I'm afraid it would change everything dramatically," I revealed.

"But if you wish that the two of you would ever be more than friends, things need to change. Can you tell me who are you talking of? Maybe I could know something about how he's doing," Kurt suggested.

I gulped, should this be the moment to reveal what I was talking about? I'd probably never get another chance, not as good as this one.

"I'm talking about you," I bursted.

Kurt fell silent and looked at me. He seemed to be surprised, couldn't utter a word.

"I've been wanting to tell for a few days, I decided to do it last night. That's why I've been acting weird today. I've been thinking about you and how you'd react and how should I say it. I still remember last Valentine's day, it kind of opened my eyes," I explained.

"You have feelings for... me?" Kurt repeated and pointed his index finger at himself. I nodded and tried to smile, but the expression on my face was nothing but a ridiculous grin.

"Wow. Just, wow," Kurt said and looked at my wall. I didn't know if it was a good or a bad sign, I remained silent for a good while.

"I've been thinking a lot about you after that talk. I know it's like ages ago, but well, I've always been a bit slow, you know that. And it took quite some time to realize and accept that I... that I... have certain feelings," I finished, there was no way I could say that I loved Kurt. The word and the thing behind the word felt too big for me, too big for now. I was interested in Kurt but it would be love only if he had feelings for me too. Strong, powerful feelings. Besides, how could I even know what love was? No one had ever loved me, not in a romantic way.

I glanced at Kurt, this waiting sure felt long. Longer than the whole day had been. I assumed he needed some time to digest it, I decided to continue explaining.

"I totally understand if you've lost your interest towards me, and it's cool that way. And everything should anyway be perfect for you, because that's what you deserve. I'll never be perfect, I know it. I just thought that maybe I should share my feelings with you. I want to be open and with this inside me, it's impossible," I almost whispered, it was the loudest form of speech I could produce at the time.

"I do have feelings for you, they haven't gone anywhere," Kurt said, I straightened my back at once. I was about to continue speaking, but Kurt lifted his finger, I froze. "I too have been thinking about what you said on Valentine's Day."

I cursed myself in my mind, did I mess everything up even before it could've been something? Why hadn't I learned to keep my mouth shut at all times? All would be better with me remaining silent.

"I have a lot of feelings for you, actually, some more innocent than others. But the fact is, I don't want to screw this up either. I don't believe that I'm any better than you in romance, I just know I never want to lose you. What if we start dating and after a while it turns out that it could never work? Do we just cut all bonds we have?" Kurt asked, looking deadly serious.

I had been thinking about the exact same things before, now I had kind of forgotten about them. I guessed I was interested in giving it a go. And I believed that we could be a lovely couple.

"You'd want to date me?" I asked, that was pretty much all that had caught my ear.

"Hell yeah I'd want, have been wanting for ages. But I don't want to mess things up," Kurt added.

"We could be like Emmett and Theodore from Queer as Folk, right?" I said.

"Did't they break up? I don't think it would be that nice," Kurt stated.

"Only because Ted was using drugs. I'm not going to do so, I believe that you're not planning on doing so either. Besides, I still haven't seen the fifth season, I don't know how it ends," I muttered.

We were looking at each other, I hadn't really notice how close to each other we were sitting. It was like the world around us had disappeared, I could see only Kurt. I started leaning towards him, he was leaning to me too. His eyes full of shining stars were getting closer, but just as are lips were about to have some kind of contact, he escaped.

I tried to look at his eyes, he avoided my gaze. My heart bumped like it was having a panic-attack, I didn't think that this meant anything good. I knew it, he hated me, after all these words! Had I now destroyed also the friendship between us? I'd die if I lost Kurt now, he was more precious to me than anyone could ever guess. Maybe even more than my family. I loved my parents and Everett but there were certain things I could never trust with any of them. Kurt was the only one who knew me as a whole.

"Can I just think about it for a while? I'm definitely not saying no, but I'm not saying yes either. It's a big decision and I wouldn't want to do it hastily. I've been thinking about us a lot, would be a lie to say something else, but this discussion has changed things quite a bit," Kurt explained quietly, lifted his head a bit.

I looked at him, tried not to look as frightened as I felt inside. Well, it wasn't a straight no but it really wasn't a yes either. OK, maybe I had been a bit too hasty, probably he didn't hate me.

"Well, take your time. I'd love you to answer now but if you need time, take it. I understand," I answered and smiled bravely. I didn't know what else to say.

Kurt stroke my cheek and hugged me strongly.

"Thank you. I only need to do some more thinking. I value you more than anything, I'm not sure if I have enough courage to risk you. I want you to stay in my life for ever," he whispered.

"I'll stay by you, I promise that. Can you promise the same to me?" I asked, my voice was shallow, speaking indeed wasn't easy.

"I promise. Let me just take a bit of time. Everything'll be alright," he said and almost made me cry. It maybe was a cliché but I needed to hear it every once in a while. Maybe this could really be solved, in a good way.


	4. Chapter 4

**starstrukkxxx: **Aww, thanks again! :D Well, I hope he says yes too, we shall see later how it goes xD I shall, thanks ^^

A/N: Well, wouldn't have guessed I'd get this chapter ready this fast xD but as it's ready, I'll just put it here ^^ feel free to comment!

Kurt kissing Finn. Kurt laying in a coffin.

Kurt laying in the hospital bed.

Kurt hugging and kissind Rachel. "I'm so sorry to say this but I hate you."

"It was too much to hear about your feelings." Kurt looking at me, being angrier than ever before.

Kurt in a car accident.

"I wish to see you never again." Kurt dying in my arms.

"Blaine, wake up! Wake up! It's OK, all is good. You're in your bed, it's night, nobody's dying. I'm here," I heard a voice really close to me. I threw my eyes wide open, just to realize that the room was pitch-black. I couldn't breathe, my nose was blocked, I obviously was crying. I was hallow inside, I was afraid and scared. So afraid that I could explode every second. All the images I had seen just a while ago were running around my head, crushing every side of it. Why did he leave me?

It took a good while to cool down a bit, Kurt held his arms around me with a firm grip. In a way he literally kept me in one piece, my parts needed this kind of glue right now. I used my shirt's hem as my napkin, I didn't want Kurt to get away from me, now I craved his presence, him just being close. I wanted the images to vanish from my mind but it was so difficult to try to tell them. It was like all the bad things were having a party in my head, laughing at me when I was asking them to go.

Kurt slowly stroke my hair, I laid my head on his chest, leaned on him.

"Is it better now?" Kurt asked quietly.

"Well, at least I feel like I'm able to breathe again," I answered.

"Do you remember what kind of nightmares you had? Seemed pretty harsh this time, you almost hit me, you shouted and rolled over," he explained.

"Oh, I don't remember," I told a little white lie. "Probably it was the same than before."

"The beat-up, once again?" Kurt asked.

"Maybe. I have no idea. But those have been the hardest, usually," I said. Apparently I hadn't been shouting his name, or done anything else too revealing.

After a while Kurt let go of me, I sat properly and let my feet meet the floor. It felt cold, smooth. I liked the feeling, it was relieving. I set my arms on my legs and leaned on my hands. This sure felt confusing, all those dreams about Kurt. Was I so afraid of losing Kurt? Well, I knew I was, but this was something more than I could've expected.

"What time it is?" I asked, I wasn't sure if I could fall asleep again. Kurt grabbed his mobile, I turned my head when the light of the screen went on. It was too strong for my eyes.

"23 past four. You think you're able to sleep a bit more?" Kurt asked.

"Yap, I'll just hit the toilet first. You can start sleeping, I'll survive now. As long as you're by my side," I said with a small smile. Kurt even saw my gesture, the light was still so bright.

"Always. Wake me up if you need to talk about it," he said and laid back.

"Sure. Sorry I woke you up," I said from the door.

"That's why I'm here," he answered before I went too far.

I washed my face and looked at myself from the mirror. I looked terrible, just dreadful. I maybe should've told Kurt the truth, let him know how I'd feel if he left me. But it would've been pressure, I wanted him to decide by himself. I knew I'd be quite close to dead if he wanted never to see me again, but there was no reason to believe he'd react that way. He wouldn't have stayed here.

I spent a while at the toilet, trying to cool down. Maybe I'd be able to sleep, but I was afraid. Almost petrified that the nightmares would come again. I wanted to rest during the nights, not freak my ass off. At least I knew why I had this kind of dreams right now. I knew Kurt would never leave me, he'd sure remain as my friend, no matter what else he'd want. Still, a little bit of fear remained in my heart. Maybe it was too much for him to handle.

I returned to the bed, Kurt was already asleep. I couldn't help but smile again, he indeed was a cute creature. I wanted to learn how to look cute while sleeping. I slipped my feet under the blanket and laid down. The uneasy feeling returned but I wiggled closer to Kurt and gently held his arm. It helped me cut the crap out and try to fall asleep.

I actually slept for the rest of the night, and I slept good. Again I woke up with Kurt's arm lightly around me, this time I had a reason to believe he was already awake; he was stroking my arm gently. I didn't reveal my awakeness yet, I remained motionless and wished that Kurt had the habit of talking his thoughts out loud. Or that I could read his thoughts, maybe that would've cleared some things.

I decided to 'wake up' after a while, obviously it was telling nothing to me. Kurt noticed that I had awaken, but he didn't take his hand away.

"Morning. Was the rest of the night better?" Kurt asked right away.

"Morning, yes, thank you," I answered and turned to him.

"I just wish I could help you get rid of all those things, premanently," he said, sounded almost like apologizing.

"Believe me, I wish so too," I snorted. It was quite awkward to act that way, even with Kurt. I remembered the times I had woken with mum, dad or Everett next to my bed, trying to cool me down. It definitely was easier with Kurt, but I felt a bit like I was bothering him.

We laid in the bed for a while more, just talked about stuff but I started to get hungry.

"I better get up and make us some breakfast. How would scrambled eggs sound like?" I suggested.

"Good. Let me come help you," he said and got on his feet.

"No, no, as a thank you for last night, please! You keep on resting, or do something else, I'll take care of the food," I insisted. Kurt hemmed at me and sat back on the bed, he said he'd get changed while I was cooking.

I tried to make everything as perfect as I could, maybe I could help Kurt to decide to start a relationship with me. Or that was at least what I wished for. I took some bread too, stuffed them and threw them to the oven, they'd sure taste good. I felt incredibly nervous, I wished that Kurt would make up his mind quite soon, or I'd die from frustration.

"Hmm, something smells good in here," I heard Kurt's voice from behind me.

"I hope it'll taste OK as well," I laughed and lurked at him from the corner of my eye. I couldn't interpret his face, no help from there.

"I'm sure it'll be just good," he said and sat to the table.

The day went by fast, Kurt left home around six, he had left his homework and didn't take his book with him. Besides, I wanted to give him time to think alone. I hoped I could survive the night all by myself, would be good to manage to do so. I had to put another shirt on almost right after Kurt left, it felt like the room temperature had dropped quite a bit. Most probably it was just my imagination getting wild but well, couldn't help it.

Also I had some homework to be done, even though I had asked Kurt about my biology assignment, I remembered it pretty well. It wasn't easy trying to concentrate, everything reminded me about Kurt. Finally I allowed myself to properly think of him, maybe it would ease my mind. Or it would make it worse. Either way, trying not to think him at least wasn't helping.

I leaned back, the sofa was soft and comfy. I had sat on it numerous times with Kurt, watching television, doing other stuff, everything. I wished that from now on it would include also some serious cuddling, later maybe even more. I still didn't know if it was a good or bad thing that Kurt wanted some time to think of it. He always thought stuff completely through before making up his mind, he was dedicated. I would've appreciated him just throwing himself to my arms and being happy there but well, he needed his time.

I already missed Kurt's eyes, the way they shone when he laughed or got excited. I would've been happy to spend my every moment with him, if he just allowed me. Maybe I was already kind of living that point of a relationship when you want to spend every single second with that another person. I had a good reason, no one could deny that.

I was smirking by myself when I heard someone get in. My bodyhair got up at once, my brain started to search for answers. Mum and dad were supposed to be another week away, what about Everett? Was he coming home today? I really couldn't remember, I just froze to my place and stared towards the hallway. Who ever was coming in didn't make a fuss about themselves, I only heard steps getting closer.

I breathed out slowly when I saw who came. It indeed was Everett, he had almost scared the shit out of me.

"Oh, hey there bro, I thought you'd be at Kurt's," he said, laid the huge bag on the floor and came to sit next to me.

"Hey Ev, I didn't remember at all that you were supposed to come home tonight! You scared me," I answered and hit him.

"Well, can't expect you to remember anything, can I? I need to do my laundry every once in a while, don't you think? That sports-bag is full of dirty clothes! Besides, I have school tomorrow, just like you," Everett stated.

"I thought you'd go to Brenda's or something," I muttered, unfortunately it was true, I never had a clue when someone was supposed to return.

"Well, no need to go to that house anymore. We broke up. She found another guy to search happiness from," Everett said, his voice fading away.

I lifted my head and looked at the boy next to me. Everett's head had sank a bit lower, it was obvious that he was down.

"I'm so sorry to hear that! But, why? I thought you two were happy together," I said.

"Well, so did I. I know we pretty much never were extremely close but I still cared a lot. I think it's partly because of us being twins. She complained about not being able to tell the difference between us, I knew what she meant even though she tried to make a joke out of it," Everett sighed.

"But we are so different from each other! Well, we maybe look quite much like each other; after all, we're identical twins. But we dress and act in totally different ways! And we've never used the prank about changing lives," I stated.

"I know and agree. I'm the least bit musical, you're the least bit sporty, I'd never wear your clothes and the same other way around. But I know it bothered her, some way. Maybe she didn't trust me completely, maybe that was the issue from the very beginning," Everett shrug his shoulders.

"If that's the case, it's just good that she broke up. I mean, you must trust each other, otherwise it's not going to work. In that way we're not different at all, I'd say we both are trustworthy," I said and rubbed his shoulders.

"Yes, but it still hurts," Everett sighed, looking sad. I looked at his deep brown eyes, it was almost like looking at the mirror. Our eyes sometimes changed their color, or that's at least how it seemed to me.

"Of course it does. Do you really want to go to school tomorrow, I can stay in with you," I offered. There wasn't too much I could do, but I could be there and keep him company, cook something or just listen to what he had things to say.

"I want to go, I feel like it's best for me to keep on going right now. I have enough time to think about it once I'm alone," Everett said.

That was one difference between us, I always started to feel better after some talking, Everett wanted to keep everything to himself. Maybe I should talk to him about my weekend, try to give him something else to think. Anyway we always shared a lot of our lives.

"Kurt was here with me for almost the whole weekend," I told Everett.

"I'm not surprised. Should I?" he asked and looked at me with a cricked smile on his face.

"Maybe not. I had nightmares again, I couldn't sleep alone at all," I revealed.

"Really? The beating again?" Everett guessed.

"That too. But last night it was all about me losing Kurt, in one way or another," I explained.

"You losing Kurt? Have you told him?" Everett asked.

I smiled, he followed my mind really well. I needed to say about half of the things, he knew the rest of it.

"I did," I answered.

"And...?" Everett tried to keep me going.

"He said that he needs some time to think about it," I said.

"Well, that's a good thing. I suppose. With anyone else, it'd be quite close to disastrous. With Kurt, he always thinks everything through. Which is why I never ever want to go to the grocery-store with him," Everett laughed.

"Believe me, I know. I like to go shopping with him, though," I said.

"You'd like to do anything ever imaginable with him," Everett added. I couldn't deny it.

We kept on talking for a good while more, but I started to yawn too wide. Everett sent me to bed, he was planning of doing some more laundry before going to bed himself, he had already washed some of it.

"If I start shouting, it's just nightmares," I tried to joke about it.

"If it's bad, just wake me up. I wish I could help you through them, I'd want to know why now, they were away for a while, weren't they?" Everett asked.

"They were, exactly. Maybe it was the terror that Kurt had to go through that brought the memories back," I suggested.

"Maybe. Well, let's hope for a good night. Sleep well," Everett wished.

"Thanks, you too," I answered and went to my room.

I washed my teeth and got changed, the bed wasn't exactly calling my name. I looked at it, tried to imagine Kurt laying there, but it just led me to some pretty wild thoughts. My god, he knew how to tease, even when not trying to do so! I shook my head, it was time to calm down and really go to sleep. I went below my blanket, just as I started to feel relaxed and warm, my phone buzzed on the table.

I had received a message, it was from Kurt. I wasn't surprised, I had kind of been waiting for it.

"Hey, you asleep? All good?" the message said.

"Well, not anymore ;D nah, jk, I was still awake. All is good! And you?" I answered. I waited for a while, Kurt replied quickly.

"That's good. I'm fine, just wanted to check you up. Just call me if you need me, right? Good night 3"

I stared at the message for a good while, he didn't use hearts too often! Maybe this was a sign? Or then it was just that my mind was being to optimistic. I almost forgot to reply to him, I didn't know what to say. I just sent him good night-wishes and laid the phone back to the table. I massaged my cheeks a bit, they were almost as carved to their current being. This wide smile on my face felt kind of nice; I had found new hope.


	5. Chapter 5

**starstrukkxxx: **teehee, thank youuu ^^ would be quite nice to hug Blaine/Darren, have to admit XD

A/N: OK, a new chapter is here! Most probably there's one more to come ^^

When I woke up, I was actually surprised. I had slept the night through, with no dreams. I turned my alarm off, stretched my arms. The morning was sunny, I opened the curtains and welcomed the new day. It wasn't too often that I felt ready to meet the new day, usually I was tired and sleepy. I decided to text Kurt, I didn't know if he was already awake but at least he'd have a good start.

"Good morning! ^_^ Look outside, there's a brilliant day on it's way! Meet you after school :)" I wrote and sent the message. I smiled wide, it really was nice to have a good feeling about something for a change.

"Morning! It's really gorgeous out there, I almost feel like going for a walk instead of school! Yap, see you then. :)" Kurt answered before I had even time to take my pyjamas off. His answer made me smile even more, a huge amount of happiness ruled my body right now.

Not even seeing the school building could crush my spirit. I knew that I had biology first but it was cool. Curt was sharing the lesson with me, he sat next to me. Actually he was one of the closest Warblers to me, which was kind of funny, taken that his name was so close to Kurt's.

"Hey Blaine, how was your weekend?" Curt asked as we sat down.

"Quite OK, I'd say. Well, Everett told that he and Brenda broke up, but he's cool with it. I told Kurt The thing," I stated quietly, looked around us. Most probably no one else was listening.

"You did? How did he react?" Curt asked. I started explaining pretty much the same way I had told to Everett, but I had to write the rest down, Ms. Gonsalves entered and I guessed she wouldn't have appreciated me speaking.

Curt reacted pretty much the same way Everett had, he was just a bit more excited.

"Should I ask Kurt?" he asked, his eyes sparkled.

"No, I don't think you should. I mean, I would love to know but I'd want to be the first to know," I stated.

"I totally understand, but I can't deny that I wouldn't love to know also," he smiled. I returned the gesture and changed the subject. As a matter of fact, we probably should've stopped it and concentrated on the subject called biology. Too bad that the genealogy wasn't too interesting this time.

I was kind of nervous, I believed Kurt too was at least a bit concerned. I really wished for the best, I didn't know how we'd survive if he decided to choose not dating me. We had survived it the other way around but Kurt had always been different from me. He was a lot braver, he could act pretty normal after the confession. After a while I had even forgotten all about it. I didn't know if I could do the same.

"Blaine, wake up, we should get out of the classroom, unless you want to it all of the break here," I heard Curt's voice from next to me.

"Oh, really? Sorry, I was just thinking about... things," I said, tried to collect my things fast and get up.

"About a person, maybe?" Curt suggested and winked his eye on me, I maybe blushed a bit. "No need to say anything else."

I was lucky enough to have Curt sharing almost every single lesson I had today, he was looking after me. I was a bit disoriented, couldn't deny that. The mathematics were hard enough even with me able to concentrate in counting things, this was even more terrible. I managed to keep on going, faked an interested look on my face and took my pencil on my hand.

The day went by fast, I kept daydreaming about Kurt. It didn't take long to realize that I was already on my English class, the last one for today. We had agreed on meeting at Lima Beans, afterwards we could go somewhere else, maybe our place or Kurt's. I was still all smily after the morning, I had a good feeling about today. Probably I'd even dare to ask Kurt if he had already come to a conclusion.

At the middle of the class I got scared, my phone buzzed on my pocket. Someone was going to call me, I sneaked the mobile out of my pocket and tried to find out who the caller was. Unfortunately I didn't recognize the number, and anyway I was in the middle of the class. There was no way I could just jump up and get to the corridor to receive the call, I wasn't even supposed to have my mobile turned on during class! The caller was persistent, he or she called three times before giving up.

After a short while my mobile buzzed twice; I had received a text message. I looked at Mr. Connor and tried to valuate if he was capable of noticing me checking my mobile, but it seemed like he was concentrated enough in Edgar Allan Poe. I had actually read the book he was talking about, and not too long ago, I still remembered almost all he talked about. I took my mobile to my pencil case and hoped that I wouldn't receive another call or message.

"Blaine, call me as soon as you can. It's about Everett. -Mika," I read the message.

For a while I was thinking who the hell was Mika, but then I remembered that he was one of Everett's football-friends. I was a bit ashamed that I still didn't remember the names of his team-mates. I hated playing football myself, but it was fun to look at, I had seen quite many of Everett's games. I had no idea how this Mika looked like, but well, apparently he knew at least something of me.

I took a look on the watch, there was still about twenty minutes of this lesson. Was it something urgent? What could've been so urgent that someone tried to call me three times and then sent me a message asking to call back? I tried to think what I should do, if I should ask for a permission to get out of the class. Maybe I could use the toilet? No, it was too translucent. Also, I couldn't say that I'd received a message saying that I should call back as soon as possible, I'd probably get kicked out of the class, get expelled for a few days, maybe. Dalton had it's rules and they were really strict.

Then again, if it really was something urgent, would I ever forgive myself if these twenty minutes would be the conclusive ones? What if a car had hit Everett and he was barely alive? What if Everett had been kidnapped? What if he had eaten something rotten and was about to pass away for good? Maybe it would be nothing that dramatic, but how could I know?

I kept on thinking for five whole minutes, it was like sitting on burning coals. I was just about to ask for permission to go to the toilet, when I started looking around. The others looked a bit restless too, Mr. Connor looked a bit like he was about to end the lesson. Were we about to get to go early tonight? I looked at Wes, he answered with a concerned look.

"Is all good?" Wes whispered.

"I don't know. Is he ending the class?" I asked.

"Yes, in a few minutes," he answered.

"I'll explain soon," I replied and concentrated on keeping my butt on the chair.

I was really worried after I got out of the classroom, I took my mobile on my hand and dialed Mika's number.

"Someone called, it's about Everett," I said to Wes and walked a few steps away. Mika answered almost immediately, he didn't sound too calm.

"The hell dude, where have you been? I tried to call you three times!" he said to the phone.

"At class. What is it, is Everett OK?" I asked.

"Honestly, I don't know. They're examining him now. Get your ass to the hospital, now. No one knows what it is, it could be nothing but well...," Mika said and didn't end his sentence.

I took some backup from the wall, it was hard to breath. I looked at Wes, worried.

"I'll get there as soon as I can," I said and ended the call.

Wes looked at me, not saying a word after I had put my mobile to my bag. My hands were trembling hard, I felt all shaky.

"Everett's at the hospital. I'll go there," I briefly said.

"Why? Is everything OK?" Wes asked and lifted his hand on my shoulder.

"Well, apparently no. I don't know what has happened, it might be even nothing serious. But I'll go now," I repeated.

"Hey, don't you move yet," Wes said and took a firm grip of me as I tried to walk away. "How are you planning to go there?"

"By car?" I said, how else would I be able to get to the hospital?

"By driving a car? You're not driving, I'm taking you there. I can bring you back later to get your car but right now you're not in a condition for driving," Wes said. I tried to smile at him but failed, I simply nodded.

Actually it was a good idea to let Wes drive, I had to admit that I was way too worried to pay any attention to my surroundings. Had I driven, it would've been supposable that I'd end up going to the hospital in an ambulance. While Wes was driving, I tried to call Kurt. I thought of what he had said, it was possible that he was still on a lesson. At least he didn't answer.

"Come to the hospital as soon as you can get, please," I texted him briefly, hoped that he'd get my message and come as quickly as possible. It was really nice that Wes was there for me but well, it wasn't the same and we both knew it.

I put the mobile to my bag and looked back up. To my great surprise, we were already quite close. Maybe I had fallen to my thoughts for a while, or Wes was just driving fast. He glanced at me every once in a while but said nothing, there really was nothing to be said.

I rushed up the little hill as Wes had parked the car, he followed me a few footsteps behind. I opened the door and looked around, I recognized no one and had no idea where to go.

"Should we ask from the reception?" Wes suggested. I turned my head to him, I already had forgotten about him being there.

"Oh yes, we should," I answered and went to the desk. The lady turned to me with a smile on her face, I almost wanted to tell her to stop, there was no reason to smile now!

"Hello, where is Everett Anderson? Is he OK?" I asked.

"And who are you?" she asked while checking some papers.

"His brother," I replied, Wes told that he was just a concerned friend.

"The doctor is seeing him right now, I'm sorry but I know nothing more of his situation. If you would please get closer to Examination room 3, that's where he is now," she said.

I didn't know if she had something more to say, I already walked.

"Blaine, turn around, another direction!" Wes noted. I turned on my heels and walked fast.

Soon I noticed a familiar face, I assumed that it was Mika. Also some others from the football-team were there.

"Hey Blaine, I'm so sorry," Mika started and walked towards me, everything else he said went past my ears, did that mean that Everett had already died? Wasn't that how you started condolences?

I noticed that Mika was staring at me, I shook my head and decided to try to listen. I had a bad feeling on my stomach but it was best to hear what I had to say.

"Sorry, what did you say?" I apologized.

"That I'm sorry that I maybe over-reacted a bit. Turns out that Everett is most possibly OK, he does have a broken arm but so far it's nothing more," Mika explained.

I looked at him with a dumb look on my face, this sounded good!

"So his alive?" I asked.

"Very much. And he's conscious already. We were practicing, we hit each other pretty hard with some other guys, Everett made a strange sound and fell silent. He was at the bottom of our pile, he didn't get up when we did, he was unconscious. We couldn't wake him up so we called an ambulance," Mika explained.

"How do you know he's okay?" I asked.

"The doctor went out for a while some time ago, we asked. So far it's nothing else, but they're checking a few things. They are moving him soon, I suppose, he has to stay here until tomorrow," Mika continued.

I breathed out and emptied my lungs properly, this was a relief. I was so happy to hear that he was mostly in shape.

"Can I go in?" I asked.

"Ask the doctor, not me," Mika adviced me.

I knocked and opened the door, the doctor and nurse both looked at me.

"Hello, I'm Everett's brother, can I come in?" I asked.

"Hi Blaine, I'm alright, no worries," Everett said as I caught his eye.

"Do enter, young man. Seems like we are all good here, except for the broken arm. I suppose you just hit your head quite a bit when you fell, we need to control you until tomorrow. If nothing comes up, you're then free to go home," the doctor said, shook hands with me and left the room.

"I'll come back soon, we'll get you to another room, I'm just going to prepare it," the nurse said and followed the doctor.

I looked at Everett, took a chair closer to his bed and sat down. Everett was pretty much as usual, his hand was already plastered but otherwise there was nothing new.

"You better know that you scared the shit out of me. Or actually Mika did, I thought that you were about to die or something really close," I told Everett and actually even laughed a bit.

Everett looked at me and laughed as well.

"He is always like that, I'm afraid. And well, I don't blame him, sounds like they really tried to wake me up," he said.

I was just about to reply something when the door was opened fiercely. I stood up and turned to the door just in time to see Kurt storm into the room. He looked at me, then at Everett and back to me, rushed the few steps close and hugged me. His arms were almost hurting me, his grip was very powerful.

"Kurt, everything is good, Everett has a broken arm and he has to stay in until tomorrow but otherwise he's okay," I told as Kurt didn't apparently even think about letting go. I pat his back, tried to calm him down.

Suddenly he let go a bit, grabbed my arms instead and looked deep into my eyes. They were almost watery, he pressed his forehead to mine.

"You have no idea how scared I got. The message didn't tell that much and you didn't answer your phone, tried to call like a thousand times!" Kurt said quietly. I realized that my mobile was still on my bag and the bag itself was probably at Wes' car.

"Well, I was scared too. I thought that Everett was about to die, or something else really serious. I forgot my phone on the bag and the bag is at Wes' car," I told.

"I know. But I'm happy that you're almost good, a broken arm isn't too bad, even though it's going to keep you from playing for a while," Kurt said and turned his face to Everett.

Everett kept looking at us before he said anything, I thought he had lost his ability to speak. I could've sworn that he winked his eye at me, but probably it was just my imagination. This had been a rough experience, for everyone. I was happy that everything was about good now.


	6. Chapter 6

**Starstrukkxxx: **To be honest, I was planning of killing Everett, but I couldn't do it XD It would've been too much! ^^ Sooo, it's the last chapter now! ^^ thanks for your sweet comments, I found them really inspiring! ^

A/N: OK, time for the last chapter! I hope you enjoyed reading it, just as I enjoyed writing it! We shall see how this ends ;D thanks all!

I was relieved after Everett had got to his new room. He'd stay there until tomorrow afternoon, I could come and pick him up after school. He wasn't allowed to drive himself and it would be good that he'd have some company. Besides, there was even no car that he could've driven home. Kurt held his arm on my shoulder, I smiled at him, this was good now.

"I'll drive Blaine home, I'll stay there," Kurt said to Wes and others, I made a gesture with my eyebrows but said nothing. He could've asked me but well, it was what I wanted.

"OK, sounds good. We'll probably meet tomorrow at school, right?" Wes asked me.

"Yeah, and we have a rehearsal tomorrow too, don't we?" I confirmed.

"Yes, we do. See you!" Wes said and waved his hand.

I waved my hand at him and turned to thank Mika and the rest of the gang again. They left too, looking happy, joking around. Maybe I should try to get to know them properly, they seemed to be a nice bunch of people.

"So Wes drove you here with his car?" Kurt asked.

"Yes, mine is still at school's parking lot. Should we go pick it up?" I suggested.

"I'd say it's better that we go to your home now, we can think about the car later. I think it's better that you don't drive yet, even though you seem to be alright again. Well, as alright as you can ever be," Kurt laughed.

I slapped him gently and laughed, I knew pretty well that I was a bit weird; I had embraced the weirdness in me long time ago. Anyway I agreed, it was nice to just spend time with Kurt, more fun than driving two cars right after each other. I smiled at Kurt while we walked towards his car.

"I'm sorry that I scared you, but I really wasn't able to think," I apologized.

"It's okay, I couldn't expect any less. After all, you did think that something was terribly wrong with Everett. I would've been the same, I believe," he answered.

"I believe so too. Let's just hope that everybody stays healthy. You've been through enough," I said.

"Let's hope that," he sighed, I could see a bit of longing in his eyes. Even though Kurt's mum had died ages ago, he still missed her.

We changed the subject, started to talk about other things. My day had been good until the end of last lesson, but there hadn't been too much going on. Kurt told news about Mercedes and Sam, they had taken their relationship to a new level; caressing each other in public. It was indeed more than just holding hands, stroking other's hair or cheek, even hugging.

I couldn't help but imagine me and Kurt deepening our relationship, it would be more than awesome to show all world how much I cared about Kurt. There were quite some things I could've whispered to his ears, trying to make him blush. I knew Kurt well, it wouldn't even be hard to make him blush. If he would give me permission, I'd sure kiss him every few minutes, just to remind that I was there for him.

"I know, it's so nice to hear that they're doing well! Especially after all that they've been going through, they deserve some happiness," Kurt said. He had misinterpreted my smile but I didn't correct him.

"Second that. It starts to look like McKinley is all paired up, quite close," I stated.

"Well, pretty much," Kurt said and fell silent. I quickly looked at him, why did he sound like that? I didn't ask a thing, he'll sure talk about it later if he felt like it. If not, I'd have open my mouth.

Our house was incredibly quiet, it felt even quieter than usual. I believed it was all my mind, there was no way that the house would've known what had happened. Still, a slightly worrying-feeling tried to take over me. It lingered to my veins and went around my body in a second.

Then I looked at Kurt and the feeling was gone. Everett was going to be just fine; though probably pretty pissed off, because he'd lose many rehearsals. I had been really scared but it had turned out good. Also, now I had Kurt here, what could go wrong?

"Are you hungry? I should do some homework for tomorrow but to be honest, I'm really hungry," Kurt confessed.

"Actually I'm a bit hungry too. It's been a while since I ate," I stated.

"Well, it's almost eight, so... over eight hours since lunch," Kurt counted.

"What, are you kidding me?" I asked and looked at Kurt. "There is no way that it would be even close to eight yet!"

"Look at the clock, it's five to eight. Should I cook for us?" Kurt suggested. I looked at the clock and almost dropped my jaw. It was five to eight, no matter how weird it felt.

"Then I probably lost some hours at the hospital. I can help you. What would you like to have?" I asked.

"Honestly, pretty much everything goes. Something simple?" Kurt laughed.

"Then it's smashed potatoes and fish fingers," I asked Kurt with my eyes, he nodded.

We took the books to the kitchen, we started doing our homework while the potatoes were boiling. It felt like the lessons I had had this morning happened weeks ago. I opened my English book, tried to remember what we had done. Soon Edgar Allan Poe came to my mind and the fact that I had to write a small presentation about the writer for tomorrow, the year he was born and stuff like that. I sighed and started reading, I totally didn't remember all the dates that well.

At one point I felt different, I couldn't tell how was it different or what it was. I lifted my eyes from the papers and realized that Kurt was staring at me. I looked at him and smiled, he smiled slightly sheepishly.

"All good?" I asked, Kurt looked startled, maybe he hadn't actually been looking at me, just thinking and looking at somewhere. In which direction I happened to be.

"Oh, sure. Ehm, the potatoes must be ready by now," Kurt said shortly and got up. I looked at his back, that was a bit strange. Most of the time he answered properly. I shook my shoulders, maybe he'd open up at some point. I got up and went to get butter and milk. I'd think about it more after getting something to eat.

Kurt finished the smashed potatoes while I made the fish fingers. I took the milk to the table and sat down with my plate, the food smelled delicious.

"I didn't even realize how hungry I was until I saw the food," I stated.

"I know, I've been almost dying for a while. Open up your mouth, there's a train on it's way, choo choo!" Kurt laughed, took a bit of potatoes to his fork and started to move it towards my mouth. I obeyed and opened my mouth, it was hot but so good.

I was like a new person after food, I told Kurt to leave the dishes to the sink, I'd clear it later. I couldn't have cared less about the dishes at the time.

"So, do you still have a lot to do?" I asked.

"Actually no, just a few calculations and I'm ready," Kurt said.

"Great, I'm almost ready too. Should we finish here?" I suggested. Kurt was again staring at me, he didn't reply to me at all. I tried to call his name but he didn't react, he moved only after I waved my hand in front of his face.

"Seriously, are you okay?" I asked, a bit worried.

"I am, I just started to think about one assignment, it was pretty hard. Let's do the rest of the things here, no use to carry the stuff to another room if we're almost ready," Kurt said.

We sat back down and continued. Kurt was faster than me, he kept looking at me and checked my books. I could tell that he was about to ask if he could help but I was very close to be ready as well. His staring was intense, even disturbing. I had an uneasy feeling, there was something on it's way, something was heavy on his mind. I just hoped he would tell and that I could help him.

We went to the living room and sat to the sofa, I turned the TV on.

"Anything you'd like to watch?" I asked.

"No idea what is on, pick something," Kurt answered.

I changed the channel a few times, managed to find Friends from some channel. I knew Kurt loved the series, so did I.

"Guess what," Kurt said from all of a sudden.

"Well, do tell," I answered.

"Dad and Carole are going on a small honeymoon-trip, just to New York for a long weekend," he said with a wide smile on his face.

"That's nice. I know they dreamed of a bigger trip but I think this is just as good. As long as they're together, I believe they'd even go to Siberia," I laughed.

"So true. Once you have someone that you love, everything else doesn't matter that much. I mean, like, all is survivable," Kurt tried to clear his thoughts, I understood what he meant.

"Exactly, the problems are just small hills on the wide road. And sharing all with someone, must be awesome," I said with a dreamy voice. My relationship with Kurt was quite close to being perfect, we shared a lot of things but I wouldn't have minded sharing some more intimate things as well.

"Must be. Do you mind if I come here while they're away? I guess Finn would like to bring Rachel in and well, being the third wheel isn't that tempting," Kurt suggested.

"Of course, any time you feel like it. It might be a bit awkward. Oh, who am I kidding, it will be awkward. I know, Brenda has been here, I've found the two of them from different places, kissing or just being close. I hate interrupting but sometimes is can't be avoided," I said and pursed my nose, Kurt laughed at me.

"I know the feeling," he answered and looked at me again. His eyes were so bright, I allowed myself to look deep inside him. It was really amazing how well I knew Kurt, taken how recently we had met, after all. A bit less than half a year.

Kurt lifted his arm and stroke my cheek gently. I lifted my hand and held his, he stopped and just moved his thumb.

"You know, I've been thinking," he said, took his hand away and turned his eyes to his lap.

I could feel how I started sweating and shaking right after those words, so far it was only inside me, but I had no idea how long I could control myself. This was what had been pressing Kurt's mind today, that was clear.

"And?" I whispered, it was hard to force even that small word out of my mind.

"And, well, um. You and I should... I mean, I should, you. Well, this is hard," Kurt said and smiled nervously.

There was no need to say that I was way more nervous than he was. My palms were now sweaty, my vision was about to get blurry. This excitement was too much to handle, I'd crack soon. I tried to stay still, give Kurt time to clear his words. I concentrated on breathing, in and out, in and out. That was enough for me.

I was about to open my mouth and ask Kurt to say something so that I could understand what he wanted, when he lifted his head back up. The next moment he had attacked me, his hands were around me, his lips were on mine. It was quite wet, almost as if he was trying to eat me, but I didn't care.

I answered the kiss, it got even better when I realized what this kiss meant. Kurt still cared about me! I seriously doubted that he would've kissed me if he wanted us just to be friends. I even felt his tongue exploring my lips, I opened my mouth and let him in.

After a violent start we slowed down a bit and just kind of tasted each other. Kurt tasted like the mints he had eaten after dinner, I assumed that I myself also tasted a bit like them, he had offered me some. Still, the mints couldn't hide his own taste, how special he was, even in this way! There were no words for him, none of them were glorifying enough.

Kurt pulled me to his lap, I moved myself, actually it was easier to kiss him. It was a mixture or long, deep kisses and small, lighter kisses that kept following each other with basically no breaks. I could've kept on going for ages, but finally Kurt looked at me, in a different way, more open in a way, and kissed my forehead.

"I hope that cleared my thoughts for you, sometimes words aren't enough," he said quietly, not breaking the sweet atmosphere.

"I believe I got the point. Though I might need more convincing later," I stated, I craved for more kisses. Kurt uttered a laughter and quickly kissed my lips again.

"That's what you'll get, I'll definitely want to kiss you again, it felt good. I think you might've gotten me addicted to you, with only one try," he confessed.

"Don't most of the things work that way? You get hooked with one try. And besides, it was magical so there's a good reason for it," I answered.

"There is. _We_ are a good enough reason for quite many things. I was already leaning towards giving it a try but today I just realized that I'm a fool. It sounds like a cliché but I wouldn't want to live without you. I almost pulled you close and kissed at the hospital," Kurt told me, his fingers ran through my hair.

"You could've done it, but well, this is better, in a way," I admitted.

"In many ways. After all, it's a public place. I do want to show everybody how I feel about you, but this moment belongs to us, no one else," Kurt stated. I kissed his cheek, that was well said.

"This moment belongs to us for sure, but do you know what's the most incredible thing?" I asked Kurt and waited for a while if he'd answer. He just looked at me and gestured me, prompted me to tell. "The most incredible thing is that not I really know that you belong to me."

"And you belong to me. Maybe it has been like this from the first moment we met but we just didn't dare to live completely like it," Kurt said.

"Well, I don't care, as long as I have you now," I laughed.

"You'll have me always."

"And you'll have me always."

"Should we go to bed? I mean, just to sleep. And maybe cuddle a bit. Lay yourself down with me, please?"

"I don't think I'll be able to sleep tonight, but we can try. Let's go and try to rest," I said, I wanted to continue a bit more but didn't know how. "And Kurt, I really care about you."

"I care about you too. Come on, get up. Or actually, never mind, I'll carry you," Kurt laughed and just lifted me up, as if I was light as a feather. I threw my arms around his neck and kissed his cheek, joined the laughter. This was everything I ever wanted and a bit more. With Kurt by my side, I could do everything in the world.


End file.
